Two years time

It's been said that we hurt the ones we love the most, and our mother-daughter relationship was no exception. Our relationship was complicated - perhaps because we were more alike than I wanted to believe.

It's amazing the little stories and memories that pop in my head these days. Many now that Brock is getting older. What did my mother do with me at this age? What would my mother do now? How did my mother handle all of this??

And there were three of us!!

Circa August 1991

Oh how'd I love some advice from her on my two.

Beautiful handwriting even at fourteen years old!

I miss my mother and all her caring advice. I miss her wonky two letter texts. I miss her blunt opinions on what my children are eating. I miss her phone calls just because. I miss her giving me updates on our Connecticut family. I miss messages about what crazy thing Mia ate that day. I miss scrambling with her to check in to a stand-by flight on American Airlines. I miss our bickering. I miss all of it because she was my mother and that was our relationship.

It was hard sometimes for me to show you how much I loved you and I wish I did a better job. I'm sure we can all say there are things we could have done better. I'm trying now. One of the last texts I received from her:

You did all you could. You were very helpful to me. You could do only so much with your busy family. I understand. And I'm the only one that matters

Two years is entirely too long without you. I love you and miss you Mom.